I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
