I didn't shave. On purpose
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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