wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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