Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
