he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
