I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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