she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
