Me too!
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
