Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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