i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Congratulations! We have a period
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
