I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
