Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
only if we run a train.
done.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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