look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
