3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
