It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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