Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
