I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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