oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
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