I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
