He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
