So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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