I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Found your dick twin last night
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
