porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
