Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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