How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Randomize
