Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
