I cannot find my penis.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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