dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
