I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
