She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Randomize
