i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I wish you could order shots online.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
