you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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