so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
