just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The power of my boobs compel you
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
