just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
