weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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