??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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