Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
