i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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