After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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