i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
it was like his penis was on wheels.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
