I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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