I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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