I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
