You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
