guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
