I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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