woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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