I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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