McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Randomize
