Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
