pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
