Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
