I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
